1
00:00:01,535 --> 00:00:03,103
[upbeat music]

2
00:00:04,671 --> 00:00:07,140
I am so sorry, Mr. Turkey,
but it says here

3
00:00:07,173 --> 00:00:10,644
I've got to massage this butter
all over your plump, meaty body.

4
00:00:11,678 --> 00:00:13,279
I got a plump,
meaty body.

5
00:00:13,313 --> 00:00:15,649
Why don't you rub
that butter all over me?

6
00:00:17,518 --> 00:00:19,352
Baby, come on,
how can you think about sex

7
00:00:19,385 --> 00:00:21,555
when this poor defenseless bird
was just yanked away

8
00:00:21,588 --> 00:00:24,357
from his mama so he could be
massacred and devoured

9
00:00:24,390 --> 00:00:26,793
by selfish humans?

10
00:00:26,827 --> 00:00:29,663
So does that mean you don't want
to do it on the table?

11
00:00:29,696 --> 00:00:31,431
Have a little respect
for the dead, okay?

12
00:00:31,464 --> 00:00:34,434
Let's not do it
on Mr. Turkey's grave.

13
00:00:34,467 --> 00:00:35,569
Well, if it makes you
feel any better

14
00:00:35,602 --> 00:00:37,203
you don't have to
make dessert

15
00:00:37,237 --> 00:00:39,305
'cause Neesee's mom
is making her world‐famous

16
00:00:39,339 --> 00:00:41,207
Red Velvet Jones Cake.

17
00:00:41,241 --> 00:00:43,810
Unh‐uh, I'm not gonna be
outdone in my own home.

18
00:00:43,844 --> 00:00:46,647
No, I'm making
your dessert too, okay?

19
00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:48,715
My world‐famous
sweet po‐tofu pie.

20
00:00:51,451 --> 00:00:53,419
Whoo‐whoo!

21
00:00:53,453 --> 00:00:55,388
You look like
you ate Tyson Beckford.

22
00:00:56,857 --> 00:00:59,192
This ain't for him,
this is all for Katie.

23
00:00:59,225 --> 00:01:02,262
Think I got time to put
some bullets in these guns?

24
00:01:03,564 --> 00:01:05,165
Dad, come on now

25
00:01:05,198 --> 00:01:06,466
don't‐don't take this
the wrong way

26
00:01:06,499 --> 00:01:07,801
but ever since mom died

27
00:01:07,834 --> 00:01:10,070
you've, you've become
a bit of a tramp.

28
00:01:11,772 --> 00:01:12,873
Don't embarrass me today,
please.

29
00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:14,575
Oh, sweetheart, I'm sorry.

30
00:01:14,608 --> 00:01:16,677
‐ I don't wanna embarrass you.
‐ Thank you.

31
00:01:16,710 --> 00:01:18,512
I just wanna get you
a new mama.

32
00:01:18,545 --> 00:01:19,513
[laughing]

33
00:01:21,347 --> 00:01:23,584
♪ Often I wish that we ♪

34
00:01:23,617 --> 00:01:26,219
♪ Could take the time to see ♪

35
00:01:26,252 --> 00:01:30,824
♪ The need there is to be
a family yeah ♪

36
00:01:30,857 --> 00:01:33,126
♪ 'Cause it's All Of Us ♪

37
00:01:33,159 --> 00:01:35,596
♪ Sometimes it can be rough ♪

38
00:01:35,629 --> 00:01:37,531
♪ Time and seasons change ♪

39
00:01:37,564 --> 00:01:40,166
♪ But we will still remain ♪

40
00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:42,569
♪ It's just All Of Us ♪

41
00:01:42,603 --> 00:01:44,838
♪ It's just All Of Us ♪

42
00:01:44,871 --> 00:01:48,141
♪ It's just All Of Us ♪

43
00:01:48,174 --> 00:01:51,111
♪ It's just All Of Us ♪♪♪

44
00:01:53,814 --> 00:01:55,616
[instrumental music]

45
00:01:55,649 --> 00:01:58,284
Whoa, this is a nice mixer.

46
00:01:58,318 --> 00:02:00,854
I'm going straight to Sears
tomorrow and get me one.

47
00:02:00,887 --> 00:02:03,156
You know, that's where I got
those craftsman tools for Robert

48
00:02:03,189 --> 00:02:05,592
and that Xbox game system
for Bobby.

49
00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:06,927
Sounds like you're doing all
your Christmas shopping

50
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,161
at Sears.

51
00:02:08,194 --> 00:02:09,195
‐ I am.
‐ Yeah.

52
00:02:09,229 --> 00:02:10,864
Heh‐heh!
Stop.

53
00:02:10,897 --> 00:02:12,232
Walk forward.

54
00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:16,803
Oh, you still got
all the tataas.

55
00:02:16,837 --> 00:02:19,239
‐ The booty, the face, the hair.
‐ Ah, ooh, ah.

56
00:02:19,272 --> 00:02:20,574
Fierce!
Now, come on.

57
00:02:20,607 --> 00:02:22,709
♪ Shake what your mama
gave you ♪

58
00:02:22,743 --> 00:02:24,711
♪ I said shake shake shake
what your mama gave you ♪♪♪

59
00:02:24,745 --> 00:02:26,379
Oh, my baby.

60
00:02:26,412 --> 00:02:27,848
[laughing]

61
00:02:29,415 --> 00:02:31,417
Uh‐uh‐uh, no ball playing
in the house, baby.

62
00:02:31,451 --> 00:02:34,521
Why? I'm just throwin' it
to myself.

63
00:02:34,555 --> 00:02:37,423
I don't care if you're
throwin' it to Terrell Owens.

64
00:02:37,457 --> 00:02:39,259
No ball playin' in the house.

65
00:02:41,795 --> 00:02:44,230
Okay.
Then, can I have a cookie?

66
00:02:44,264 --> 00:02:45,866
No, you already have
two cavities.

67
00:02:45,899 --> 00:02:47,467
Two cavities?

68
00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:49,369
Bobby, let me see. Oh!

69
00:02:49,402 --> 00:02:51,371
Grandma gonna sneak you
one later. Hee‐hee.

70
00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:56,910
I just don't understand why
Snooky don't come over here

71
00:02:56,943 --> 00:02:59,212
and celebrate the holiday
with the three of us.

72
00:02:59,245 --> 00:03:00,614
Well, I know you in denial

73
00:03:00,647 --> 00:03:02,749
and you still think
Snooky is my husband

74
00:03:02,783 --> 00:03:03,984
but we're divorced.

75
00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:05,485
There's a new Snookette.

76
00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:06,987
Then why are we doin'
all the cooking?

77
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:08,488
Can't that heffa do it?

78
00:03:09,923 --> 00:03:12,358
‐ Ma, her name is Tia.
‐ Tia.

79
00:03:12,392 --> 00:03:15,428
And cooking isn't one
of her strong points.

80
00:03:15,461 --> 00:03:17,297
Besides, Robert and I agreed
to spend the holidays

81
00:03:17,330 --> 00:03:18,632
at his house for Bobby.

82
00:03:18,665 --> 00:03:21,635
I just don't understand
why you let that man go.

83
00:03:21,668 --> 00:03:22,769
He was a good man.

84
00:03:24,304 --> 00:03:26,807
He kept the bills paid,
he didn't beat you.

85
00:03:28,509 --> 00:03:29,843
What was missin'?

86
00:03:29,876 --> 00:03:31,512
Him, ma.

87
00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:33,680
Now, get over it,
'cause I have.

88
00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:37,483
Grandma, did you forget
to sneak me that cookie?

89
00:03:37,518 --> 00:03:39,920
No, I forgot to teach you
how to whisper.

90
00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:45,626
‐ Mm, mm, uh‐um.
‐ Mm, mm‐hmm, mm‐hm.

91
00:03:45,659 --> 00:03:47,828
Taste these candied yams,
I think I've even outdone you.

92
00:03:47,861 --> 00:03:49,029
No, no.

93
00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:51,331
Mm, take me to the cross.

94
00:03:51,364 --> 00:03:52,332
[both laughing]

95
00:03:55,035 --> 00:03:56,870
‐ Oh..
‐ Oh, boy!

96
00:03:56,903 --> 00:03:58,038
If.. Do you..

97
00:03:58,071 --> 00:03:59,472
If you, what..
Well..

98
00:03:59,506 --> 00:04:00,807
Child, go somewhere.

99
00:04:02,475 --> 00:04:05,512
Oh, my.. Wh‐where are you going?
Clean up this mess.

100
00:04:05,546 --> 00:04:08,048
‐ But you just said‐‐
‐ I say a lot of things.

101
00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:09,550
It's alright, honey, go on.

102
00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:10,784
Grandma gonna take care of this.

103
00:04:10,817 --> 00:04:12,686
‐ Oh.
‐ Now, go on now.

104
00:04:12,719 --> 00:04:15,656
Well, look who is getting soft
in their old age.

105
00:04:15,689 --> 00:04:17,423
Girl, I take Tae Bo
four times a week.

106
00:04:17,457 --> 00:04:18,992
I'm not soft, feel it,
come on now.

107
00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:22,829
[instrumental music]

108
00:04:22,863 --> 00:04:24,297
Which one do you like best?

109
00:04:24,330 --> 00:04:26,600
This one has more
of a musky smell.

110
00:04:26,633 --> 00:04:29,435
This is more of
a floral scent.

111
00:04:29,469 --> 00:04:32,038
‐ Is that Bengay?
‐ You can still smell that?

112
00:04:32,072 --> 00:04:34,775
That was two days ago.
That's the last time I work out.

113
00:04:34,808 --> 00:04:35,909
Dad, come on,
will you please stop

114
00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:37,611
making people
smell you, alright?

115
00:04:37,644 --> 00:04:39,846
There's no scent that's gonna
attract Neesee's mom.

116
00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:42,549
Hey, don't hate because I wanna
have what Jonelle and Dirk have.

117
00:04:42,583 --> 00:04:44,384
They just got finished
telling me how happy

118
00:04:44,417 --> 00:04:45,686
that marriage has made them.

119
00:04:45,719 --> 00:04:47,521
Mm.

120
00:04:47,554 --> 00:04:51,625
Mr. Jewel, uh,
happiness just, uh..

121
00:04:51,658 --> 00:04:53,527
...doesn't quite describe it.

122
00:04:55,095 --> 00:04:56,897
‐ Hey, y'all.
‐ Right on time.

123
00:04:56,930 --> 00:04:59,065
‐ Hey, y'all.
‐ Happy Turkey Day.

124
00:04:59,099 --> 00:05:02,035
[laughing]

125
00:05:02,068 --> 00:05:05,471
She ain't even even
set the table yet. Trifling.

126
00:05:05,506 --> 00:05:08,609
Hey, sweetie,
everything looks so nice

127
00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:11,344
especially all up
around Dirky.

128
00:05:11,377 --> 00:05:15,882
Oh, um, mom, let me
introduce you to his wife.

129
00:05:15,916 --> 00:05:18,785
‐ Jonelle.
‐ Oh, yeah, I see her. Hi.

130
00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:21,955
Katie, sweetheart,
you don't have to

131
00:05:21,988 --> 00:05:23,423
stand here holding
that heavy tray

132
00:05:23,456 --> 00:05:24,825
not when there's
a gentleman in the room.

133
00:05:24,858 --> 00:05:27,661
Oh, look, let's just
clear this up right now.

134
00:05:27,694 --> 00:05:30,130
The only thing I can do
with an old man is bury him.

135
00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:31,565
Ooh.

136
00:05:31,598 --> 00:05:32,999
Kill me.

137
00:05:33,033 --> 00:05:35,468
Hey, ma, where's my cake?

138
00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:37,638
Bobby, you wanna tell him
where it is?

139
00:05:38,905 --> 00:05:40,373
Not really.

140
00:05:42,709 --> 00:05:45,712
I was being bad
and I knocked it on the floor.

141
00:05:45,746 --> 00:05:49,082
Neesee, you keep a clean house,
you could have brought it over.

142
00:05:49,115 --> 00:05:51,484
I don't know what's gotten
into him lately, Robert.

143
00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:52,619
Me neither.

144
00:05:52,653 --> 00:05:53,754
We gotta deal
with this later.

145
00:05:53,787 --> 00:05:55,055
Works for me.

146
00:05:57,057 --> 00:06:00,160
Baby, I hear you don't know
your way around the kitchen

147
00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:03,630
but don't you worry, we're here
to help you save Thanksgiving.

148
00:06:03,664 --> 00:06:04,865
Come on, girls.

149
00:06:04,898 --> 00:06:06,700
Come on, let's go
to the kitchen, come on.

150
00:06:06,733 --> 00:06:07,768
Come on now, skinny.

151
00:06:07,801 --> 00:06:08,969
Oh, you know, I‐I‐‐

152
00:06:09,002 --> 00:06:10,136
Unh‐uh.

153
00:06:10,170 --> 00:06:12,606
‐ Neesee‐‐
‐ Unh‐uh.

154
00:06:12,639 --> 00:06:14,474
So, Dirk, how you
and Jonelle doing?

155
00:06:14,508 --> 00:06:17,811
Oh, man, in the car on the way
over, I had the windows down.

156
00:06:17,844 --> 00:06:20,180
She talkin' about the rain
was messing up her hair.

157
00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:22,849
She don't even got
that much hair.

158
00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:24,785
This is what I have
to put up with.

159
00:06:24,818 --> 00:06:26,452
I thought she was your prize.

160
00:06:26,486 --> 00:06:29,122
Mr. Jewel,
she's cool people

161
00:06:29,155 --> 00:06:31,157
we just incompatible.

162
00:06:31,191 --> 00:06:33,760
If it wasn't for the holidays,
I'd divorce her tomorrow.

163
00:06:35,028 --> 00:06:37,998
She lucky
I was raised right.

164
00:06:38,031 --> 00:06:39,533
Okay, so why don't you
just stick it out

165
00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:40,567
for the next couple of months

166
00:06:40,601 --> 00:06:41,802
and then see how you feel?

167
00:06:41,835 --> 00:06:43,003
Why?

168
00:06:43,036 --> 00:06:44,437
She not pregnant, is she?

169
00:06:46,973 --> 00:06:50,476
Come on, girl, in reality, how
much damage could it have done?

170
00:06:50,511 --> 00:06:53,814
I mean, you just don't even
have that much hair anyway.

171
00:06:53,847 --> 00:06:55,048
Now, see, that's not the point.

172
00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:57,050
The point was Dirk
was being inconsiderate.

173
00:06:57,083 --> 00:06:59,019
‐ Thank you, Tia.
‐ You're welcome.

174
00:06:59,052 --> 00:07:00,453
He wouldn't have
done that to me.

175
00:07:00,486 --> 00:07:01,622
Look, I'd divorce
him tomorrow

176
00:07:01,655 --> 00:07:02,823
if it wasn't Thanksgiving.

177
00:07:02,856 --> 00:07:04,124
But you heard
how the suicide rates

178
00:07:04,157 --> 00:07:06,459
go up during
the holidays.

179
00:07:06,492 --> 00:07:08,028
Man, I don't want him
to die.

180
00:07:08,061 --> 00:07:10,196
I just don't wanna be
married to him.

181
00:07:10,230 --> 00:07:12,766
Shoot. If you don't want him
I'd hit that.

182
00:07:14,835 --> 00:07:16,236
Nothing says
"Happy Thanksgiving"

183
00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:18,772
like a tall cup
of hot chocolate.

184
00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:22,008
Ugh. Um..

185
00:07:24,210 --> 00:07:25,178
[Kate coughing]

186
00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:28,549
[instrumental music]

187
00:07:30,250 --> 00:07:31,618
(Robert)
I'd like to toast
to a few things

188
00:07:31,652 --> 00:07:33,053
I have to be thankful for.

189
00:07:33,086 --> 00:07:34,855
Ah, a great son.

190
00:07:34,888 --> 00:07:36,790
Who needs to stop
leaning back in his chair

191
00:07:36,823 --> 00:07:39,726
before he slips
and busts his pumpkin head.

192
00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:41,061
Get your feet down.

193
00:07:41,094 --> 00:07:44,264
Bobby, what did your mother
tell you?

194
00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:46,266
I'm also thankful
that we all could be here

195
00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:47,901
on this very special day.

196
00:07:48,835 --> 00:07:50,671
My beautiful baby.

197
00:07:50,704 --> 00:07:53,039
And our newly‐wed best friends.

198
00:07:53,073 --> 00:07:56,009
Together forever.

199
00:07:57,177 --> 00:07:57,944
Promise?

200
00:07:59,946 --> 00:08:02,082
My parents couldn't
be here today

201
00:08:02,115 --> 00:08:03,717
but I'm happy to say
I have somebody

202
00:08:03,750 --> 00:08:05,085
that I'll always call ma.

203
00:08:06,286 --> 00:08:07,888
And my soon‐to‐be dad.

204
00:08:07,921 --> 00:08:09,823
[chuckles]

205
00:08:09,856 --> 00:08:11,792
And you can call me Big Papa.

206
00:08:12,893 --> 00:08:15,161
And you can call me a cab.

207
00:08:18,064 --> 00:08:19,265
Hey, don't forget the turkey.

208
00:08:19,299 --> 00:08:21,001
Neesee, you did
your thing, girl.

209
00:08:21,034 --> 00:08:22,536
‐ Nice job, nice job.
‐ Yeah.

210
00:08:22,569 --> 00:08:23,704
Hello!

211
00:08:23,737 --> 00:08:25,539
That was my turkey, people.

212
00:08:26,907 --> 00:08:29,843
[laughing]

213
00:08:31,111 --> 00:08:32,579
Enough of all this
mushy stuff.

214
00:08:32,613 --> 00:08:34,014
Come on, y'all, let's dance.

215
00:08:34,047 --> 00:08:35,616
‐ Come on, baby.
‐ Knock yourself out.

216
00:08:35,649 --> 00:08:37,183
I'm going to watch the game.

217
00:08:37,217 --> 00:08:40,687
Oh, come on, baby. Hey, Katie,
you used to teach dance, right?

218
00:08:40,721 --> 00:08:42,789
Maybe you could show us
a few new moves.

219
00:08:42,823 --> 00:08:46,259
Well, Neesee, yes, because
she has a gift for dance..

220
00:08:47,628 --> 00:08:49,663
...and the body.

221
00:08:49,696 --> 00:08:53,600
Well, I did study dance
in college.

222
00:08:53,634 --> 00:08:55,702
Honey, it's different
without a pole.

223
00:08:58,271 --> 00:09:00,841
‐ Oh, ma.
‐ Oh!

224
00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:02,943
See that's your last chance,
we told you to stop.

225
00:09:02,976 --> 00:09:05,311
(man on TV)
'Now it's nothing
but open field ahead.'

226
00:09:05,345 --> 00:09:07,180
Shoot.
She don't know me.

227
00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:10,016
I tried out for "Fame" and got
me a couple of call‐backs.

228
00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:13,687
[smacks lips]

229
00:09:32,005 --> 00:09:33,006
Mm.

230
00:09:33,940 --> 00:09:36,877
[instrumental music]

231
00:09:37,944 --> 00:09:39,880
[shrieking]

232
00:09:41,381 --> 00:09:43,249
[shrieking]

233
00:09:43,283 --> 00:09:47,220
Salsa is a dance
of passion and lust.

234
00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:48,955
Not just something
you sprinkle on some chips.

235
00:09:48,989 --> 00:09:50,624
Come on, Dirk.

236
00:09:50,657 --> 00:09:52,092
Let's show 'em
how to do it.

237
00:09:52,125 --> 00:09:53,894
You have to picture
your partner

238
00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:57,130
as the object
of your deepest desire

239
00:09:57,163 --> 00:10:00,734
and once you've had your fill,
ooh, no more.

240
00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:02,135
Oh, I'm ready, baby.

241
00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:05,071
You wanna dance?

242
00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:06,306
Well, it's gonna cost you
and right here

243
00:10:06,339 --> 00:10:07,908
is where you start
payin' in sweat.

244
00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:09,075
Well, I'm ready, baby.

245
00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:11,344
‐ Ahh!
‐ Ah‐ha‐ha‐ha!

246
00:10:14,214 --> 00:10:15,849
[screams]

247
00:10:21,087 --> 00:10:22,355
[splashes]

248
00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:31,732
(all)
Bobby!

249
00:10:32,833 --> 00:10:34,100
Get off of me.

250
00:10:35,836 --> 00:10:37,303
Bobby, go upstairs.

251
00:10:37,337 --> 00:10:38,338
You're gonna get a spanking.

252
00:10:41,842 --> 00:10:42,976
And you..

253
00:10:43,710 --> 00:10:45,011
Ooh, feisty.

254
00:10:51,217 --> 00:10:53,319
[instrumental music]

255
00:10:53,353 --> 00:10:55,255
You aren't really gonna
spank him, are you?

256
00:10:55,288 --> 00:10:56,857
Hell yeah.

257
00:10:56,890 --> 00:10:58,424
He's been disobeying us
a lot lately.

258
00:10:58,458 --> 00:11:01,061
I feel like we don't have
any other choice, Neesee.

259
00:11:01,094 --> 00:11:03,063
Robert, we've talked about
this in the past

260
00:11:03,096 --> 00:11:04,998
and you know I don't
believe in spankings.

261
00:11:05,031 --> 00:11:06,366
Neesee, what is all the fuss?

262
00:11:06,399 --> 00:11:08,368
I spanked you
and look how you turned out.

263
00:11:08,401 --> 00:11:11,738
If I had spanked you more,
you might have been a doctor.

264
00:11:11,772 --> 00:11:13,874
Well, that's exactly why I don't
believe in it now.

265
00:11:13,907 --> 00:11:16,142
Neesee, if you want your boy
to stay out of trouble

266
00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:18,712
he's got to learn
that actions have consequences.

267
00:11:18,745 --> 00:11:20,180
Better he cry now
than you cry later.

268
00:11:20,213 --> 00:11:21,381
‐ That's right.
‐ You know?

269
00:11:21,414 --> 00:11:23,016
Better nobody cries.

270
00:11:23,049 --> 00:11:25,819
Neesee, we tried talking to him,
we tried timeouts.

271
00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:27,921
Today alone three times
we told him to stop playing

272
00:11:27,954 --> 00:11:29,222
with the ball
and he didn't listen.

273
00:11:31,391 --> 00:11:32,926
Maybe you're right.

274
00:11:32,959 --> 00:11:35,261
Maybe it's time to try
something different.

275
00:11:35,295 --> 00:11:36,897
Do you guys mind
if I weigh in?

276
00:11:36,930 --> 00:11:39,800
Ooh, Tia, yeah, we sure do.

277
00:11:39,833 --> 00:11:41,768
I mean, do you feel like
this is the way to go?

278
00:11:41,802 --> 00:11:43,770
We all got spankings,
it didn't kill us

279
00:11:43,804 --> 00:11:45,038
so what is the problem?

280
00:11:45,071 --> 00:11:47,373
Well, it's alternatives
to spanking.

281
00:11:47,407 --> 00:11:48,975
Yeah, like music therapy.

282
00:11:49,009 --> 00:11:50,343
Hey, it's huge
in Greenland

283
00:11:50,376 --> 00:11:52,746
and several other
Scandinavian countries.

284
00:11:54,180 --> 00:11:56,917
Or you could do
like my dad did.

285
00:11:56,950 --> 00:11:59,085
Put 'em in
the Scared Straight Program.

286
00:11:59,119 --> 00:12:00,787
You take Bobby to a prison

287
00:12:00,821 --> 00:12:02,288
on a Sunday morning

288
00:12:02,322 --> 00:12:04,758
and you show him what happens
to bad little girls

289
00:12:04,791 --> 00:12:07,093
when they steal great mail
letter from the grocery store.

290
00:12:09,029 --> 00:12:10,931
Okay, as much as
I like to pretend

291
00:12:10,964 --> 00:12:14,100
that I care about
all of your opinions..

292
00:12:14,134 --> 00:12:17,370
...Robert, this is our child
and we got a job to do.

293
00:12:17,403 --> 00:12:19,205
Honey, I just don't think you
should go up there right now

294
00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:20,541
because you're
too frustrated.

295
00:12:20,574 --> 00:12:22,943
That's exactly why
I should go up there.

296
00:12:22,976 --> 00:12:24,244
Because when I'm in
a good mood

297
00:12:24,277 --> 00:12:25,879
we're gonna end up
at Chuck E. Cheese.

298
00:12:29,049 --> 00:12:32,218
Bobby, this spanking
is long overdue.

299
00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:34,420
I'm sorry I didn't
listen to you, daddy.

300
00:12:34,454 --> 00:12:36,289
And those cute little
puppy dog eyes

301
00:12:36,322 --> 00:12:38,458
are not gonna
save you this time.

302
00:12:38,491 --> 00:12:41,094
I'mma tell you
like my daddy told me.

303
00:12:41,127 --> 00:12:43,263
I love you,
but I'm your father

304
00:12:43,296 --> 00:12:45,498
not one of your
little buddies.

305
00:12:45,532 --> 00:12:46,767
And this is for
your own good.

306
00:13:01,848 --> 00:13:03,584
I mean..

307
00:13:03,617 --> 00:13:06,887
I'm your father
and...and you're the son

308
00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:09,590
an‐an‐and this is just
the way it's supposed to be.

309
00:13:09,623 --> 00:13:11,091
I mean..

310
00:13:15,929 --> 00:13:19,465
Before I spank you I need you to
tell me why you, why you did it.

311
00:13:19,499 --> 00:13:22,869
I did it because I wanted
to be courageous like you.

312
00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:25,238
You're my hero.

313
00:13:28,542 --> 00:13:30,176
I know I'm cool.

314
00:13:31,612 --> 00:13:33,079
But a hero?

315
00:13:34,414 --> 00:13:37,851
Yeah, you look like
a superhero.

316
00:13:37,884 --> 00:13:39,152
Football Man.

317
00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:41,622
Yeah?

318
00:13:41,655 --> 00:13:43,089
You know what else
makes you cool?

319
00:13:43,123 --> 00:13:44,124
What?

320
00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:45,158
When you're on TV

321
00:13:45,191 --> 00:13:47,528
you say "Peace to you."

322
00:13:47,561 --> 00:13:48,629
[Robert chuckles]

323
00:13:48,662 --> 00:13:51,532
Well, I'm really not
as much a hero

324
00:13:51,565 --> 00:13:53,466
as I am a role model.

325
00:13:55,569 --> 00:13:58,905
But still I gotta do this.

326
00:13:59,606 --> 00:14:01,141
Alright, let's go.

327
00:14:06,046 --> 00:14:07,047
Mm‐hm.

328
00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:08,949
Well, I got that over with.

329
00:14:08,982 --> 00:14:12,886
Young Mr. James will be behaving
himself for a very long time.

330
00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:20,193
You didn't do it, did you?

331
00:14:21,094 --> 00:14:22,062
Hell no.

332
00:14:23,429 --> 00:14:25,431
Then what was you doing
all that time?

333
00:14:25,465 --> 00:14:27,601
Oh, I made a stop
at the bathroom.

334
00:14:27,634 --> 00:14:29,302
Now I gotta go do it.

335
00:14:29,335 --> 00:14:30,904
Good, that's what
I told Bobby.

336
00:14:30,937 --> 00:14:32,539
He's expecting you
any minute.

337
00:14:38,579 --> 00:14:41,982
Bobby, you know why
I'm up here, don't you?

338
00:14:43,950 --> 00:14:46,152
Yes, because
I knocked over the cake

339
00:14:46,186 --> 00:14:48,689
and kept throwing
the football in the house.

340
00:14:48,722 --> 00:14:51,257
You're in trouble
because you did those things

341
00:14:51,291 --> 00:14:53,627
after your father
and I told you not to.

342
00:14:55,128 --> 00:14:56,630
Okay, I'm sorry.

343
00:14:57,698 --> 00:14:59,633
You think
sorry is enough?

344
00:14:59,666 --> 00:15:00,634
Yes.

345
00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:03,670
I'm gonna ask you again.

346
00:15:03,704 --> 00:15:05,539
Do you think
sorry is enough?

347
00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:07,974
No.

348
00:15:08,008 --> 00:15:09,309
So what do we do now?

349
00:15:09,342 --> 00:15:11,011
You can take away my favorite

350
00:15:11,044 --> 00:15:12,946
SpongeBob talking toy.

351
00:15:12,979 --> 00:15:14,114
That'll teach me.

352
00:15:14,147 --> 00:15:15,415
Bobby, you broke that

353
00:15:15,448 --> 00:15:16,449
last month and threw that

354
00:15:16,482 --> 00:15:19,185
in the back of your closet.

355
00:15:19,219 --> 00:15:22,523
Okay. Can I just say
one thing before you do it?

356
00:15:24,157 --> 00:15:26,627
Sometimes I just
forget the rules

357
00:15:26,660 --> 00:15:31,364
when me, you and daddy
are all together.

358
00:15:31,397 --> 00:15:33,333
Because I get so happy.

359
00:15:34,568 --> 00:15:37,370
I even get kinda crazy.

360
00:15:41,708 --> 00:15:42,743
[exhales]

361
00:15:42,776 --> 00:15:45,245
Well, still..

362
00:15:47,213 --> 00:15:48,381
...you gotta learn.

363
00:15:49,616 --> 00:15:51,351
Come on, let's get this
over with.

364
00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:56,222
[indistinct chatter on TV]

365
00:16:04,264 --> 00:16:05,999
I ain't gonna frown,
I couldn't even do it.

366
00:16:06,032 --> 00:16:07,333
Damn!

367
00:16:07,367 --> 00:16:08,769
I told y'all,
Neesee acts tough

368
00:16:08,802 --> 00:16:11,137
but she's soft
in the middle.

369
00:16:11,171 --> 00:16:12,405
I don't know what happened.

370
00:16:12,438 --> 00:16:14,340
I was right there strong

371
00:16:14,374 --> 00:16:16,610
and then he hit me
with the "I'm so happy

372
00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:19,012
when you, me
and dad are together."

373
00:16:19,045 --> 00:16:21,481
I mean, what monster can hit
a child after that?

374
00:16:25,251 --> 00:16:27,688
All this new age academic
reasoning with the child

375
00:16:27,721 --> 00:16:30,023
bull twinkie
is getting on my damn nerves.

376
00:16:30,056 --> 00:16:32,058
Can I go upstairs
and handle this?

377
00:16:32,092 --> 00:16:33,226
‐ Be my guest.
‐ Go ahead.

378
00:16:33,259 --> 00:16:35,596
Alright. Hm.

379
00:16:35,629 --> 00:16:39,099
(Kate)
'Y'all listen and learn
'cause I gets results.'

380
00:16:41,502 --> 00:16:44,771
♪ Grandma Katie
Grandma Katie ♪

381
00:16:44,805 --> 00:16:48,108
♪ I love her I love her ♪

382
00:16:48,141 --> 00:16:49,643
♪ She's my favorite grandma ♪

383
00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:51,444
♪ I can't live without her ♪

384
00:16:51,477 --> 00:16:54,280
♪ She's so great
she's so great ♪♪♪

385
00:16:54,314 --> 00:16:56,717
Oh, precious baby

386
00:16:56,750 --> 00:16:58,785
did you make that up
specially for me?

387
00:16:58,819 --> 00:17:01,788
Yeah, I've been singing it
since I was little.

388
00:17:01,822 --> 00:17:04,591
And I'm drawing this picture
for you, too.

389
00:17:04,625 --> 00:17:08,529
See, that's me, and that's you,
and that's a turkey.

390
00:17:08,562 --> 00:17:12,098
‐ Oh, come here, Bobby.
‐ Happy Thanksgiving.

391
00:17:12,132 --> 00:17:14,500
You know, I came up here
to whoop you.

392
00:17:15,769 --> 00:17:17,738
But that's obviously
not gonna happen.

393
00:17:17,771 --> 00:17:20,507
But Grandma Katie
has an image to protect.

394
00:17:20,541 --> 00:17:21,808
So when I clap
my hands together

395
00:17:21,842 --> 00:17:23,243
I want you
to yell like I'm

396
00:17:23,276 --> 00:17:24,444
tearin' your little
butt up, okay?

397
00:17:24,477 --> 00:17:26,346
Okay! Ow.

398
00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:28,248
Come on, you gotta
sell it more than that. Come on.

399
00:17:28,281 --> 00:17:30,517
‐ Ow.
‐ Yeah. Perfect. One more.

400
00:17:30,551 --> 00:17:31,818
[screaming]

401
00:17:33,754 --> 00:17:36,356
Oh, I think that'll do it.

402
00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:39,392
But you gotta learn to obey
your parents now, alright?

403
00:17:39,425 --> 00:17:41,227
Okay, be a good boy.

404
00:17:41,261 --> 00:17:42,228
[chuckles]

405
00:17:46,232 --> 00:17:48,502
Now, that's how it's done.

406
00:17:48,535 --> 00:17:49,670
(Bobby)
'Ow.'

407
00:17:52,906 --> 00:17:54,207
Aftershock.

408
00:17:55,909 --> 00:17:58,144
(Bobby)
'Ow.'

409
00:17:58,178 --> 00:18:00,714
Bobby?
Bobby, the whipping is over.

410
00:18:03,584 --> 00:18:05,385
(Bobby)
'Oh, sorry.'

411
00:18:07,721 --> 00:18:09,756
Mm‐hm.

412
00:18:09,790 --> 00:18:11,224
So, what got you?

413
00:18:11,257 --> 00:18:13,093
Was it the big brown eyes?

414
00:18:14,394 --> 00:18:15,896
Well..

415
00:18:15,929 --> 00:18:17,263
...he was singing
the grandma song

416
00:18:17,297 --> 00:18:18,599
when I walked
in the door.

417
00:18:20,266 --> 00:18:22,536
And then he, he‐he painted
this picture of us

418
00:18:22,569 --> 00:18:25,506
and...childhood was over
before it started.

419
00:18:26,940 --> 00:18:29,242
That boy is just too smart
to be spanked.

420
00:18:30,777 --> 00:18:33,179
He done dodged three bullets
and he's only six.

421
00:18:33,213 --> 00:18:35,649
By the time he's 16,
he gonna be running this house.

422
00:18:35,682 --> 00:18:36,883
Yep.

423
00:18:36,917 --> 00:18:39,319
[imitating Bobby]
"I wanna be like daddy."

424
00:18:41,421 --> 00:18:43,456
"I'm so happy
when we're all together."

425
00:18:45,959 --> 00:18:49,395
"I drew this
picture, grandma."

426
00:18:49,429 --> 00:18:51,331
Don't get me wrong.
I respect his game.

427
00:18:51,364 --> 00:18:53,133
You guys just got played.

428
00:18:56,837 --> 00:18:58,505
You know, he's right.

429
00:18:58,539 --> 00:18:59,640
Yeah.

430
00:18:59,673 --> 00:19:01,542
Let's go.

431
00:19:01,575 --> 00:19:05,679
Okay, now, can I get a piece
of sweet po‐tofu pie?

432
00:19:05,712 --> 00:19:07,681
Turn the game back on

433
00:19:07,714 --> 00:19:10,183
and cuddle up
with my baby?

434
00:19:11,552 --> 00:19:13,820
You better have something
in your eye.

435
00:19:16,923 --> 00:19:19,392
Hey, Bobby.

436
00:19:19,425 --> 00:19:20,694
We know you said
those things to us

437
00:19:20,727 --> 00:19:21,962
to get out
of the spankings, huh?

438
00:19:21,995 --> 00:19:25,198
‐ Yeah, and it was clever. Yup.
‐ Mm‐hmm.

439
00:19:25,231 --> 00:19:27,534
And just to let you know,
it worked.

440
00:19:27,568 --> 00:19:28,635
Yeah, we're not
gonna spank you.

441
00:19:28,669 --> 00:19:30,203
Really? Thank you, mommy.

442
00:19:30,236 --> 00:19:31,538
Thank you, daddy.

443
00:19:31,572 --> 00:19:32,906
It's okay, sweetheart.

444
00:19:32,939 --> 00:19:34,841
Because you're grounded.

445
00:19:34,875 --> 00:19:36,543
Yup, no TV.

446
00:19:36,577 --> 00:19:37,744
No toys.

447
00:19:37,778 --> 00:19:39,245
No video games.

448
00:19:39,279 --> 00:19:40,981
No desserts.

449
00:19:41,014 --> 00:19:43,249
‐ No nothin'.
‐ No nothin'.

450
00:19:43,283 --> 00:19:46,753
Okay, I want
a spanking, please.

451
00:19:46,787 --> 00:19:50,456
Oh, you wouldn't want your hero
spanking you, would you?

452
00:19:50,490 --> 00:19:52,593
Oh, yeah, you know, the three
of us when we're together

453
00:19:52,626 --> 00:19:54,360
we have so much fun.

454
00:19:54,394 --> 00:19:56,462
‐ So much fun.
‐ Well, it's just kinda crazy.

455
00:19:56,496 --> 00:19:57,898
‐ Yeah, really.
‐ Yeah.

456
00:19:57,931 --> 00:19:59,766
[chuckling]

457
00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:03,704
Oh, please, I wanna have
a spanking, not punishment.

458
00:20:03,737 --> 00:20:07,508
Please, spank me,
spank me, spank me, please.

459
00:20:11,444 --> 00:20:13,479
[instrumental music]

460
00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:16,382
Mr. Turkey..

461
00:20:16,416 --> 00:20:18,819
...I never knew
it could be this good.

462
00:20:21,287 --> 00:20:22,889
You are so moist..

463
00:20:24,424 --> 00:20:25,959
...and tender.

464
00:20:25,992 --> 00:20:28,762
Um, and I'm so sorry,
I'm sorry.

465
00:20:31,765 --> 00:20:33,867
[theme music]